People keep telling me I will have good and bad days. Nancy was saying that 5 years later, she still has her bad days. I think most of my days are good. I haven't cried about Trevee for a while. I guess I just get sad that she isn't going to experience the fun things with us. I won't be able to write the bad or funny things she does and says for all to read. She is perfect. She is happy. She is fulfilling her destiny. These are things I tell myself daily. I am happy for these things and they usually bring me comfort. Amazingly, I think about her less and less each day. I love her and I used to think about nothing but her, but I think she is helping me find the joy in my other kids from the other side. She has taught me that I need to cherish whatever I can get. Some people don't get ultrasounds because they want to be surprised. I think this is fine for some, but for me, I want to know everything about that baby every chance I get. Ultrasounds were the only time I got to see Trevee kick or punch or roll over. That is all I get to see. I can't imagine not having that. I guess today I am just thinking of my angel.
I found this on lds.org. Talk about comforting!!
On the subject of the resurrection of stillborn children, President Joseph Fielding Smith wrote: “There is no information given by revelation in regard to the status of stillborn children. However, I will express my personal opinion that we should have hope that these little ones will receive a resurrection and then belong to us. I cannot help feeling that this will be the case” (Doctrines of Salvation, comp. Bruce R. McConkie, 3 vols., [1954–56], 2:280).
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5 comments:
I still have my good and bad days too. So hard because our hearts ache for these children - aching to hold them and to see them grow. I know just how you feel...
I am so glad you got to see her moving around on the ultrasounds and hear her heartbeat. Like you said, those are now cherished memories you have of her.
Hi Scottee,
I don't know if you will even remember me. My name is Rebecca Carter (my last name was Palmer when I lived in Arizona). Your aunt Jann Rich will remember me; I lived in the Greenway ward. Also, the last time I saw your mom we were both at the Mesa cannery.
Today I had some free time and I was looking at all of the adorable blogs that are out on the internet; many of them from younger moms, like yourself. I started with my friend, Darla Colton's blog and went from one to the next and ended up here at your's. You have a beautiful family and you look great!
My heart goes out to you for the loss of your little baby girl. I had a stillborn baby boy clear back in 1980. Scottee, with all my heart I know that we will raise those beautiful babies in the millenium. It's o.k. to cry your heart out. I did. Time softened the aches and sorrows for me and I hope that it will for you, too.
Please tell your mom hi for me. I'm happy that you live close to her. She's a great lady and I always enjoyed being around her.
Sincerely, With Love,
Rebecca (Palmer) Carter
I still think about my little stillborn baby BOY from time to time. Time does heal. I was grateful for the quote from Bruce R McConkie. Very comforting!
I love the comfort that the gospel brings. We are so very blessed to have this great knowledge in our lives.
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